I'm Lost Without You

14th December 2009, We'd broke.......totally broke.....I quited because my Luv said we will never be together again.....Amidst my heart is bleeding.......My Luv said that to me....My heart was thunder and booming with fear....I cried so much times..never appreciate from me...it was my ayang......she has a few thousands of admires.....Lastly it came into my life........it is inevitable from happens.......

Because of you......I ended everything..My future is colourful at 1st....but now.....it is decorated like Hell.......Because of u.....I even sacrificed everything......Just because of u.....what I had is just a ray of hope......a ray of Hope.....But u ruined it for everything...You always said I'm nt mature.....I even tried as hard to change myself to be more matured......Now.....Yes....I'm really matured....but what u give me is all about tears.....ashamed....and so damn much more.....

I even rather we never know each others....what you said take it very simple....simpler and simplest.......U re such a Judge....you never think the other feeling...you just go it with your way......never think the others....This is you........My 1st.....and will be my last in my life......anyhow.....I still Luv u........My 1st Luv.......ayang..... no word can describe my ayang....

I was so suck a few days later...bcoz of LuV

I keep trying to find my way and all I know is I'm lost without you I keep trying to face the day I'm lost without you. Baby I'm so lonely all the time. Everywhere I go, I get so confused your the only thing thats on my mind. I miss you more each day.......

I really want to make your day.....but you even locked your heart, never let anybody to get enter......what I need from you is a Key.... a key...only key that can brings me triumph over your heart wall.......U really don't understand me.....I am so confused everywhre I go.....Everytime the time I woke up.....The first thing in my mind is you.....only you......You raised me up when I cannot reach....U were my ears, when I couldn't hear....u re my everything.....now I so hard to live by watching u everyday are so unhappy......If I'm burdened u now..plz let's me know......I will disappear in front of you....I can sacrifice everthing juz for u to live in a happier life.......

a nite that changed my life into .......

On the 27th of November.....My life is getting more meaningful and so sweets like heaven.......We met at nite.....a place that belongs to you and me......Only you and me know the place that we had been.....
a night that you and me...U seem liked my angel and I am your Prince...only prince.... When I turned around, u kissed me suddenly, and hugs me tightly and so was me.. The feeling was like heaven....a real love that we can go it through in our life eternally.... It cannot be described by words, but it could be imagined if u re using your real heart to feel it. Surely you will get it... My ayang said almost 100% my Ayang told me about her....I love my ayang very much... We slept over a night till the next day...I left my ayang the next day from the place that only u and me.....My ayang went to Sipadan Island....

At last, I couldn't imagine the time my ayang told me on the way to airport Tawau....I cried bitterly...I hate these feeling, is liked a mountain of stone crushed over my heart and broke into million pieces...... I was so suffering like hell and my eyes were reddened by (YOU), tears kept rolling down over my cheek...but my ayang said," please let me go back". I just answered ok reluctuntly..because I realized I cant make it change.... It was 29th November 2009, 7.39pm my ayang stepped into the flight, preparing to depart....8.40 pm, my ayang arrived at the airport.....

30th of November, I thought I am the blissful one in the World as my ayang shows a bit change the way how she treats me.......maybe I am thinking that lastly, my ayang could let me get into her(YOUR) life.....It was so nice and romance you know..My ayng kept messaging me...1st of December 2009, My ayang messaged me early in the morning and said that, I have stomach-ache and caused diarrhea". Plus....my ayang told me it was so painful and couldn't get a stand.....Oh My GOD....I was so frightening and nervous about my ayng...I wanted to beside my ayang at the time as if possible..... Then I asked my ayang to have a visit with doctor....Then she is ok the next...I just advised my ayang to have some porridge and the salty egg..Never to have the greasy food....."Only brand water is not greasy here', my ayang answered me.....

If u notice this message that is only for my ayang...plz......always remember what I always said to u.....and what makes trust and Believe........I 've learned it from u....LUV u ayang.....

Karaok.........time...@@

Here is my frenx...Kaivun....with his gorlz frnzsss...

we were so happy at night by headed to the Karaok club.....It is nice rite......going to the Ktv club, playing like kids, sing liked the stars hahha.....damn rock in my life....

In lives.....we do need to fulfill our leisure time....likes go to clubbing, get drunk....dances like the monkey....It is me....@2@ .the real Nicke....@@@ I like to be the real of me....I wont care how the other's perception to me...some of them will juz say I am juz wasting my time and my pocket money...So what..!!! There is nothing we can expect what will happen at the next seconds......who's know will be the End Of the World.....am i rite...??? heheh.....so please........

be the real of You...like the real Nick....heheh

My frenz......Ena....

wat a super sweetssss sounds....

Nickie is Singing there...haha

Korean Guys....match with Korean model.....haha

My life is nothin and there is no reason to live anymore....

today was a sunny day.....it looks cool to me......but When I am sitting in front of the compt.....I am so happy.....and wanna get access to the Internet as fast as I can.....

Not long after that....my unique XXX is online.....I am so happy and nudged XXX.....but all and all.....xxx asked me to leave xxx....I was so up sad bcoz of xxx.........bcoz of me....xxx fights with couple........oh my God......what is happens........in my paradise................What I suppose to do......Don knoe......xxx said....fight with couple is like hell......I even could fell it....

I cannot imagine how could I leave my angel to others.........

I am so sorry.......to both of you.......

Love is blind.....
if u luv someone, but your love doesn't pay attention in u..... not interest in u...How do u feel....?? and yr love forced u to do something that u don want to be, is like ending your life.....u have no reason to live anymore.......That is wat I feel now........ and is like telling a whore that she cannot fuck again............If this is wat you want to be......then nothing I can do.....the only thing I can do is Doa kan kamu berdua.....

10th October 2009

Wat all we have done is like shit.....................early in the morning I took a ride on my grandpa's car to school...............


and I was the 1st one who was there followed by the others...................We juz gathered in tuckshop for so long..............juz bcoz for there so called Raya time...????? don knoe wht the hell it was...........thinking juz wasting my mother's fucking time.............

here we took some pictures......before the jamuan.....

Nickie.......@@lol...

FariedaH........My friend....the buzziesssss one in our class....

Nick_zai........yeh...yeh...

My frenz...Nir..sexyyyyy....

cool............girls......ladies is not only preety...they are quite naughty like boy.....haha

They deserved for that....everyone is fallen on the floor......hahahaha wat a bunch of naughty girls....

Our belove papa cikgu Azmi.......and my pig dog friends..hahhaa 6 Rendah Aspirasi......2009 is an active class....wat a hustle and bustle class....everyone like to eat in class.....curi makan.....hahaha

A bunch of Monkey Stars....wakakaa

LoVe style.....hhihi

Sometimes I am really don knoe why the girls like to do it..... and now I realized bcoz this is their style...and maybe their hobby @@!!!

Hilda Kimsin......Our ;;;dai Ka jie;;;

wat a fuckiNg nigHt.........

It was 2 night the power cut continuously........... Jesus.....
I am not suppose to deserve it............at the midnight the thunders were booming fiercely.....
My God......I was lying on the sofa....til half-past 4 early in the morning.....bcoz of my so called assignment....hahaha I was lying for all night...without finish my homework......hahahah

I packed all things dashed to my room..........Jumped to my bed and continued my dreams hahahha

5.28 I woke up reluctantly......I stood over the wall for a few minutes before changing my school uniform......hahaha

before I step out from the Auto gate......The chickenshit dog dashed out without look at me.......
I asked (wong zai)dog......he ignored from.... my God.....The school bus arrived parked in front of me....I was so embarrassed, as I was the attention from the school bus.......Mummy.....help.....hahha
Fortunately....my dog is returned home at last.....
wat a awful day .........